Letter to the editor: In wake of tragedy, Loyola students transcend friendship and become family
Issue date: 4/28/09 Section: Opinion
As I gazed at a cloud of incense in the chapel last Monday, I was reminded of the first time I sat in that chapel - during freshman orientation.
On Tuesday, I looked at my friends, heads bent in sorrow, hugging each other. Again, I recalled how we sat nervously then with our families, soon to leave us alone at Loyola.
But now I saw a new family. (Little) Steph's five roommates - Lauren, Jules, (Big) Steph, Danni, and Heather - braced each other in their pew.
I was (and am) in awe of their strength. They cried, but smiled. They comforted those who couldn't be as strong. When I offered consolation to Heather as we hugged after Mass, she smiled and said in a clear, gentle voice, "Thank you for coming."
I surveyed the rest of the church; so much of the audience comprised the sophomore class.
Once, we were strangers; two weeks ago, friends. Last week, we transcended friendship: We became family.
Those closest to Steph feel the loss of a sister. Leah Ragusa, one of Steph's close friends, wrote: "She just had an indescribable air about her that brought about happiness and joy to all of us. For such a small girl, she had a huge presence and made an impact on every person she came in contact with."
Even in the loss of the Parente family, Steph's friends will remain as her family.
After the service, I gathered with a group of Butler alums in the living room of a Seton Hall suite. Multi-colored Christmas lights decorated the walls. A stuffed pheasant hung from the ceiling. We sat on raggedy futons and armchairs. Our surroundings were decidedly "college." But I felt as if I was at home with my family, comforted by their presence.
One relies on family; in profound grief, one wants to retreat to those who know the chart of one's highs and lows. But we could not retreat this week. We could not escape the reality of this unspeakable loss. Instead, we came together.
The love Steph's friends feel for her (and from her) is "indescribable." But Steph stays with them. On Saturday, Steph's friends went to D.C. to remember her by visiting her favorite restaurant, Gordon Biersch, where she always ordered the lettuce head and crab cake sandwich with a strawberry lemonade. Afterwards, the girls explored D.C., taking pictures to capture their perfectly clear spring day.
Later, when looking at the images, the girls noticed a rainbow running at the bottom of the pictures. One of the girls, Tayla Shaheen, said, "The rainbow was a sign to all of us that Little Steph was with us, smiling."
Even in her absence, Steph's family will find her presence.
Jenn Ladd
Class of 2011
On Tuesday, I looked at my friends, heads bent in sorrow, hugging each other. Again, I recalled how we sat nervously then with our families, soon to leave us alone at Loyola.
But now I saw a new family. (Little) Steph's five roommates - Lauren, Jules, (Big) Steph, Danni, and Heather - braced each other in their pew.
I was (and am) in awe of their strength. They cried, but smiled. They comforted those who couldn't be as strong. When I offered consolation to Heather as we hugged after Mass, she smiled and said in a clear, gentle voice, "Thank you for coming."
I surveyed the rest of the church; so much of the audience comprised the sophomore class.
Once, we were strangers; two weeks ago, friends. Last week, we transcended friendship: We became family.
Those closest to Steph feel the loss of a sister. Leah Ragusa, one of Steph's close friends, wrote: "She just had an indescribable air about her that brought about happiness and joy to all of us. For such a small girl, she had a huge presence and made an impact on every person she came in contact with."
Even in the loss of the Parente family, Steph's friends will remain as her family.
After the service, I gathered with a group of Butler alums in the living room of a Seton Hall suite. Multi-colored Christmas lights decorated the walls. A stuffed pheasant hung from the ceiling. We sat on raggedy futons and armchairs. Our surroundings were decidedly "college." But I felt as if I was at home with my family, comforted by their presence.
One relies on family; in profound grief, one wants to retreat to those who know the chart of one's highs and lows. But we could not retreat this week. We could not escape the reality of this unspeakable loss. Instead, we came together.
The love Steph's friends feel for her (and from her) is "indescribable." But Steph stays with them. On Saturday, Steph's friends went to D.C. to remember her by visiting her favorite restaurant, Gordon Biersch, where she always ordered the lettuce head and crab cake sandwich with a strawberry lemonade. Afterwards, the girls explored D.C., taking pictures to capture their perfectly clear spring day.
Later, when looking at the images, the girls noticed a rainbow running at the bottom of the pictures. One of the girls, Tayla Shaheen, said, "The rainbow was a sign to all of us that Little Steph was with us, smiling."
Even in her absence, Steph's family will find her presence.
Jenn Ladd
Class of 2011
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